I'm not too sure how many people have one of these, they might in fact be quite rare (like unicorns, jack-a-lopes, a forest haunted by General Sherman, or a roommate under 5'2''). For arguments sake, let's assume that not many people have not heard of this particular type of acquaintance, and let's begin with an overall description.
The "non-gay gay" friend is referred to as such because of his blatantly gay behavior at times, however...he is not known as the "gay friend" because of his obvious infatuation with girls. This might even earn him nicknames such as "the creep", "the creeper", "the insert his name here", "the fruitcake/fruit loop", or "Steve/any other random guy name so that you can talk about him blatantly in front of him and he'll never know".
What does a "non-gay gay" friend look like?
Well, I'm very glad you asked. Each gay-imitation friend (or at time acquaintance) has the potential to look very different from other "non-gay gays". That being said, you can find a range of any of these characteristics in a "n-g g" (non-gay gay...in case you haven't figured that out yet).
- poor vision
This trait could mean that your "n-g g" wears glasses or contacts, squints quite a bit, has abnormally small eyes, or even has dyslexia (nothing against the dyslexic community, I am vrey fnod of yuo poeple)
- extremely short or extremely tall
I don't know why exactly, but I have never seen a "n-g g" average in height. I don't know if this is a qualification to be a "n-g g", but apparently they only are found at opposite ends of the height spectrum.
- overly flirtatious with women
As I mentioned earlier, the largest key factor that enables this person to be considered "non-gay" is not their love for being feminine but for females in general. This is shown by each "n-g g" in his own way. The most common tip-offs for this intense and slightly creepy fascination for the female race can be seen by the use of pet names (sweetie, sweet-cheeks, doll-face, and any other sickeningly absurd name), staring, following/stalking (low key of course), demanding hugs in awkward ways (standing directly in one's path, opening their arms and walking towards another, ect.), and flirting with any remotely feminine individual in a 2 mile radius.
- extreme regard for their appearance
Whether they are attractive or not, the amount of hair product, wardrobe choices (such as extreme peppiness or what they think looks "hot"), and time spent talking about themselves to others definitely speaks of a metro-sexual lifestyle. For most of these individuals they believe that they are God's gift to women, and women want/connect with/confide in/find comfort in them. Not saying that these guys view themselves as players, but they can be overconfident of their looks (ex. rate as a 4 out of 10 but believe themselves to be anywhere in the 7-10 range) and extremely selfish and childish.
- awkward behaivor
While these individuals may have friends, they are distinct and separate from their comrades at all times because of the situations that only they can produce. This might be in the form of getting sun-burnt knees, being overly dramatic at everyday occurrences, listening to strictly female artists or Broadway musicals, being a red-head, or believing themselves to be good dancers when this is not the case.
Now, being a "n-g g" is not always a bad thing. Oftentimes it just signifies that the individual in question needs anywhere from 1-23 years to finish maturing as a man. Giving a "n-g g" time to mature can be a rough process for the people around him, but in the long-run will usually transform them from a "non-gay gay" to an ordinary guy with an actual chance of marrying someday. So give it some time. Those "n-g g" friends/acquaintances of yours could actually surprise you. However, if they seem set in their ways and do not appear to want to change anytime soon, you should just causally remind your friend/acquaintance that living as a "n-g g" for an extended period of time (3 years or more) is rather lonely and INCREDIBLY overrated.
No comments:
Post a Comment