Have you ever been so bored (or avoiding work/studying/watching your kids...ect.) that you find yourself on the internet just perusing websites? As of ten minutes ago my wanderings led me to Google, the mother-load of all things "searchable". Because of the inspirational Justin Bieber Valentine I received tonight, I felt led to type in his name and see what the world thought of him. The results were pretty entertaining and I took it from there...
Google Search: Justin Bieber is...
Prompts/Results: Justin Bieber is gay (debatable)
51 (make-up is a marvelous and magical thing)
dead (...Bieber undead fever?)
a girl (just because he sings like one)
a gay baby (my favorite)
ugly (to each her own)
fake (hope not, who would little girls cry about?)
Google Search: Justin Bieber needs to...
Prompts/Results: Justin Bieber needs to die (that's not very nice)
pee (at some point)
go away (from...?)
hit puberty (AMEN)
be shot (flu shot, tetanus shot, H1N1?)
Switching gears...
Google Search: Miley Cyrus eats...
Prompts/Results: Miley Cyrus eats cats (Chinese food? Mr. Whiskers?)
meat (what? she's a vegetarianism)
puppies (Korean food? Fluffy?)
you (RUN FOR YOU LIFE!)
a baby (so I guess babysitting is out of the question...)
Google Search: Why is my...
Prompts/Results: Why is my eye twitching
poop green (PLEASE see a doctor)
dog staring at me (he has the rumblies that only hands can satisfy?)
internet so slow (blame your parents, school, or computer)
dog throwing up (hands didn't agree with him?)
hair falling out (you're married, have kids, your dog just ate hands)
Google Search: My head is...
Prompts/Results: My head is stuck in the clouds (does she begs you to come down?)
bloody but unbound (HOSPITAL)
itchy (lice, dandruff, cheap wig...?)
full of pretty lumps (lovely lady lumps? lumps of oatmeal or coal?)
too big (well DUH. I mean look at your melon-headed children)
heavy (see "too big")
Scared yet? Well...suffice it to say that my curiosity and bored tendencies tonight have been quelled/squashed/put to rest. Google is a magical thing and provides lots of opinions and knowledge, but be careful. Remember, with great power comes great...nah. That quote is just plain overrated.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Zombie 101
Last night I got less than 6 hours of sleep. I know, college student, they never sleep so "big whoop" right? WRONG. It ruined my morning. Ok...maybe not ruined, wouldn't want to be melodramatic now would we? Let's just say it made my morning very interesting.
7 am - I crawl out of bed like a beached whale (Lets just say I didn't die, but I felt close to death...Oh and I know what you're thinking, "Beached whales can't crawl, they wash up on the beach and die if not returned to the ocean in an hour or less". Well, if whales had bigger flippers, smaller torsos, and could breathe oxygen then they would have resembled what I appeared to do this morning. Don't judge me).
7:40 am - After getting ready I lurch (very zombie-like) to the library so I can print out an English paper. Silly little me did not know the library did not open until 7:45 am. The librarian looked at me through the glass and attempted a numeric sign-language to let me know that I would have to wait. I actually figured out that I had to wait 5 minutes by reading the sign on the front of the door. Nice try librarian. Oh, and did I mention the stoic and very unfriendly expression I wore on my face? Yeah...it wasn't very nice, but for some reason I just couldn't motivate the muscles residing in my face to do anything this morning (who knew face muscles needed sleep too?)
7:45 am - After 5 of the longest minutes of my life I am finally let into the library (did I mention that it was cold and wet outside?). I was a bit upset after wasting 5 minutes of my life.
8 am - I am sitting in my Biology class, very tired, and then I begin to make a list at everything that was rubbing me the wrong way (the list was getting longer by the minute). For starters, a random girl sat next to me, taking the seat of a friend of mine who has sat in the same seat since the beginning of the semester (oh, about 4 weeks ago). Let's see...oh, and she was texting in her lap, which for some reason really annoyed me (lets say it was the sound, or it could have been that she was staring into her crotch and smiling...not obvious at all...). The list continued to grow as the class continued to drag on, and on, and on, and on, and...it was killing me.
9 am - I discover that my English class is canceled, which improves my mood until I realize that I don't have enough time to take a nap...bummer.
10 am - I walk from the dorm to my Psychology class (2 minutes...how intense) where I sit in an auditorium with 40 other freshman (plus an annoyingly opinionated 40-something year old) and try not to fall asleep. Guess what we were talking about...oh yeah, sleep. Aside from dreams and the psyche, the main focus actually became sleep deprivation. Interesting. In addition, one of the symptoms includes irritability...me, sleep deprived? No...apparently college kids need a (recommended) total of 11 hours of sleep a night, not sure where all that time can be found though.
11 am - Ate lunch...blah blah blah. Took an online test for Computer Science...blah blah. Lab...oh crap, a nap would have to wait.
1:30 pm - I was a bit more alert at this point, but participating in a lab where we decapitated a tulip and cut open an apple, pear, piece of celery, a bean, and a kernel of corn does little to stimulate the mind.
After returning to the room I actually didn't nap until 4 pm...and when I woke up an hour later with the longest dream I've ever had still fresh in my mind I felt like a zombie again (the bloodshot eyes came with the static facial expression). If anyone needs some lessons on how to be undead, the best recommendation I have would be to drink caffeine around 10 pm, lie in bed for 2ish hours, fall into a fitful sleep between 1-2 am, and then attempt to leave their covers 5 hours later. Trust me, they might even win an Oscar or motivate villagers to seek shelter in an attempt to keep (what little) brain matter they posses to themselves.
Let's just say that my hope for tonight is that I can fall asleep before 12 am, and I can proudly say that I clocked in a solid 8-9 hours of slumber so that tomorrow's art appreciation class isn't met with the same amount of cynicism that today was privy to. Remember boys a girls, a good night's sleep may be hard to come by, but it is certainly never going to be overrated (unlike Justin Bieber, snuggies, and those individuals who shower midday or 20 minutes before classes start...not cool).
7 am - I crawl out of bed like a beached whale (Lets just say I didn't die, but I felt close to death...Oh and I know what you're thinking, "Beached whales can't crawl, they wash up on the beach and die if not returned to the ocean in an hour or less". Well, if whales had bigger flippers, smaller torsos, and could breathe oxygen then they would have resembled what I appeared to do this morning. Don't judge me).
7:40 am - After getting ready I lurch (very zombie-like) to the library so I can print out an English paper. Silly little me did not know the library did not open until 7:45 am. The librarian looked at me through the glass and attempted a numeric sign-language to let me know that I would have to wait. I actually figured out that I had to wait 5 minutes by reading the sign on the front of the door. Nice try librarian. Oh, and did I mention the stoic and very unfriendly expression I wore on my face? Yeah...it wasn't very nice, but for some reason I just couldn't motivate the muscles residing in my face to do anything this morning (who knew face muscles needed sleep too?)
7:45 am - After 5 of the longest minutes of my life I am finally let into the library (did I mention that it was cold and wet outside?). I was a bit upset after wasting 5 minutes of my life.
8 am - I am sitting in my Biology class, very tired, and then I begin to make a list at everything that was rubbing me the wrong way (the list was getting longer by the minute). For starters, a random girl sat next to me, taking the seat of a friend of mine who has sat in the same seat since the beginning of the semester (oh, about 4 weeks ago). Let's see...oh, and she was texting in her lap, which for some reason really annoyed me (lets say it was the sound, or it could have been that she was staring into her crotch and smiling...not obvious at all...). The list continued to grow as the class continued to drag on, and on, and on, and on, and...it was killing me.
9 am - I discover that my English class is canceled, which improves my mood until I realize that I don't have enough time to take a nap...bummer.
10 am - I walk from the dorm to my Psychology class (2 minutes...how intense) where I sit in an auditorium with 40 other freshman (plus an annoyingly opinionated 40-something year old) and try not to fall asleep. Guess what we were talking about...oh yeah, sleep. Aside from dreams and the psyche, the main focus actually became sleep deprivation. Interesting. In addition, one of the symptoms includes irritability...me, sleep deprived? No...apparently college kids need a (recommended) total of 11 hours of sleep a night, not sure where all that time can be found though.
11 am - Ate lunch...blah blah blah. Took an online test for Computer Science...blah blah. Lab...oh crap, a nap would have to wait.
1:30 pm - I was a bit more alert at this point, but participating in a lab where we decapitated a tulip and cut open an apple, pear, piece of celery, a bean, and a kernel of corn does little to stimulate the mind.
After returning to the room I actually didn't nap until 4 pm...and when I woke up an hour later with the longest dream I've ever had still fresh in my mind I felt like a zombie again (the bloodshot eyes came with the static facial expression). If anyone needs some lessons on how to be undead, the best recommendation I have would be to drink caffeine around 10 pm, lie in bed for 2ish hours, fall into a fitful sleep between 1-2 am, and then attempt to leave their covers 5 hours later. Trust me, they might even win an Oscar or motivate villagers to seek shelter in an attempt to keep (what little) brain matter they posses to themselves.
Let's just say that my hope for tonight is that I can fall asleep before 12 am, and I can proudly say that I clocked in a solid 8-9 hours of slumber so that tomorrow's art appreciation class isn't met with the same amount of cynicism that today was privy to. Remember boys a girls, a good night's sleep may be hard to come by, but it is certainly never going to be overrated (unlike Justin Bieber, snuggies, and those individuals who shower midday or 20 minutes before classes start...not cool).
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