So the institutions...I mean colleges across the country are once again packed full of nearly broke young people (with the occasional oldie-locks thrown in...and that means old people if you don't know what that euphemism means) who are ready to start this semester with its glorious tests, papers, and scary professors. For freshman, most sophomores, and those juniors/seniors who opt to do it, staying on campus seems quite attractive...at times. Is it fun and games and rainbows and sunshine all the time? No. Most of the time? No. Even half the time? NO.
That being said, what can you expect from living in a dorm? Utmost privacy and courteous suite mates right? Heh heh heh...you don't even know.
1. Bunks are low, ceilings are lower
Bunks beds are a beautiful thing. (How's that for a little alliteration?) However, they come in one of two ways...either they give the bottom bunker (heh heh...sounds funny) ample head room and the top bunker a concussion every time they get into bed OR the bed squishes the bottom bunker and gives the top bunker plenty of...well everything room. My bed is kind of in the middle. Luckily my bottom bunker-roomie-friend is tiny and a bit short so she fits quite nicely into the bottom bed, but while my bed is pretty reasonable in height...the ceiling doesn't agree. Let's just say I have had a few close calls and one almost-nearly-permanent head trauma incident when I wanted a mere nap. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently it was...
2. No magic allowed
Puppies, babies, rainbows, crock pots, toaster ovens, hedgehogs, babies, boys, power tools, and electromagnets...what do they all have in common? Well, they're all a small piece of magic that brings happiness to girls everywhere, AND they're not allowed in my college dorm. I mean, I could maybe understand the rainbows and the boys...but toaster ovens?! Really? Way to be lame school, way to be lame.
3. The walls have ears
So you know how walls are supposed to keep sound out (at least to a small degree)...yeah, these walls don't do that. Especially the bathroom walls. While, at least at college, we're all adults (ok, let's just pretend that this statement applies to all of us) about bathroom things, since when is it a smart idea to blast rap music in the bathroom at 8am? Or even to have shouting matches with your "honey boo thing"
in the bathroom no matter what hour? Let's just say, what happens in your room/bathroom/suite mates room isn't as private as you might think it is. A little tact would be nice...
4. The AC is alive
So you put your air conditioner on one temperature and then you come back a few hours later...and it's different!! Whoa! Yeah, I think it gets its kicks out of cooling down to a reasonable temperature and then dropping down to ice age levels when you least expect. By the end of the semester...I might just have frostbite.
5. Suite mates can bite
So because you can only sign up with people who are living with you in your room, you have no control over who gets to share your bathroom with you. This can sometimes manifest itself as a pleasant surprise and other times...let's just say it rhymes with durst white-hair (please tell me you got that..."worst nightmare"). You either get a good one or a scary one...kind of like the lottery. Too bad I'm not one to gamble.
6. A meeting of minds
So if you live on campus, every hallway has it's resident "baby sitter". No, the school does not refer to them as such...I think the practical term is RA (really awesome, regular aardvarks, rusty artists...). Anyway, they have these snazzy meetings once a month to tell us things that we already know (it's quite redundant really) and make sure we're not dead. Overall, it's one aggravation that I'd rather not deal with. Not to say that RAs are horrible...it's just like having a pet turtle, kind of stinks and is altogether pointless.
Now these are only some of the negative aspects of living in the dorms. Honestly, it's not horrible. Is it more expensive than living off campus? Yes. Does it come with it's limitations? Of course. But overall, you're closer to your classes, you don't have to spend gas getting to class, and you're closer to your friends. So yes, that's living in the dorms (warts and all). If you ever get the hankering to come and visit the inmates at my school...students. Whatever. Anyway, if you ever want to see what it's really like to live like a hermit on these murky shores. Give me a call. As crazy as it can be, it's usually sorta-kinda not too much overrated.
