Riddle Me This Cupid

February 14th
The Day of Love
Couples Day
Singles Awareness Day
Murderous Winged Fat Baby Day
The Day 14 Guys Died
Spend Money if You Love Someone Day
PDA Plague Day
Heart Shaped Diabetes Day
The Day That Love Stood Still
                                                                                                                                       ...Valentine's Day. 

As unorthodox (not to mention the farthest thing from politically correct) as some of these titles are, that doesn't mean they are not true. Everyone knows that the day of love can be costly, monetarily and emotionally. But, in the grand scheme of things, it's a little silly to think that one day can have such a big impact on hundreds of millions of individuals all across the world. Some love the Day of Love, and some abhor it. But, regardless of your relationship status, or your personal convictions on this day of commercialism, there are plenty of things that you can do on Valentine's Day to entertain yourself and make this day worth your time. (Please reserve all final judgements until the end of the ride, and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.)

1.Cliche Romance (mushy couples wanted)
"Love, Olive Garden, more love, pet names, cuddling, kissing, Walmart gifts...maybe a stuff animal or two" 
This is the basic, cliched, romantic definition of Valentine's Day for happy couples (or those individuals who see this one day as an opportunity to compensate for the poor communication, lack of quality time, and missing common interests that many relationships are built on). Nothing wrong with it really. Without these individuals, who would give restaurant servers a reason to hate this holiday (or just people in general)?

2. Low Maintenance Couples  (mainly geriatrics)
These individuals have a special place in my heart. Such couples, not always geriatrics (sorry for the stereotype...), don't think of Valentine's Day as a big deal and don't care too much to spend money or time furthering the Valentine's Day "racket." Most of these couples are too mature or have been together for awhile and are out of the "honeymoon phase." It doesn't mean that they're not in love, they're just at a different stage in their relationship...let's call it "cruise control." They already spend time together and don't need one day in the year to prove their undying devotion to each other (and they're the weird ones..).

3. Friend Date (singles happy riding solo)
So you're single and perfectly cool with it? Just another solo-cup in a two-liter world (not really sure where I was going with this metaphor...but the whole point was that they're cool with being alone). Awesome. Well, if you're not totally against the "holiday of love," grab your closest best friend, girl-friend, guy-friend, dog, neighbor, professor...ok, that could get a bit weird, but I think you know where I was going with this. Valentine's Day can be fun. You can use it as an excuse to get dressed up and go get some food that's reasonably priced to oh-dear-Lord-go-sell-your-car-and-first-born-child-to-pay-for-this-nine-course-meal and catch up. Talk. Eat. Have fun. Just cause you're single doesn't mean you can't take advantage of doing something special with someone you love, in an obviously platonic way. 

4. Anti-Love Day (for rage-filled singles)
"Blah, blah, blah, love, throw-up, kill me now, why is everyone but me in a relationship? I'm going to die alone..." So, you're not a big fan of Cupid? You're alone and bitter? Well then, why not put all of that hate and bitterness to good use? Take this day to wallow in self-loathing, burn/destroy pictures and presents given to you by your exs, get together with fellow V-Day haters and eat junk (misery loves company, after all), or just watch sad movies and cry your eyes out. I don't blame you for not being on the best of terms with this day. Half-naked, chubby baby angels don't really do it for me either. In fact, they're kind of creepy.

5. Economical Support (aka, Being a Bra)
So you hate Valentine's Day, are single, or just don't give a (fill-in-the-blank with a socially acceptable replacement for a vulgar term that expresses strong emotion) about this "holiday?" That is ok. You can fulfill your responsibility to this sacred day of love and purchased affection (that sounds bad, doesn't it...) simply by working. Work, work, and work some more. Those plates of overpriced pasta and salad aren't going to magically serve themselves to couples practically drowning in each others eyes. Seriously, someone throw those people a buoy or some life jackets...that can't be healthy.

Well, hopefully one of these options appeals to you. I'm not terribly excited about Valentine's Day either, but there is one thing that everyone old, young, single, committed, rich, and poor can appreciate about February 14th...the fact that candy everywhere goes on sale the day after it's over. That's right folks, regardless of your personal opinions about this day, if you suffer through it, the half-priced sweets you shall be rewarded with (assuming that you buy them for yourself, as chances are no one loves you enough to buy them for you...joking, please don't be angry) are not to be ignored. Even if you're diabetic (and especially if you're a female), cheap chocolate shall never be overrated.

Can I Get a Witness?

It's a dark, gloomy night. Five young men stand, huddled around a fallen geriatric in an abandoned parking lot. The old man is bruised and bleeding, having been knocked down and kicked by the youth who surround him. Fragments of asphalt bite into his skin as he sluggishly attempts to stand, wheezing and gasping for air. Slowly, four of the men turn and walk away, disappearing into the blackness that surrounds the dimly lit parking lot. The last youth stands for another minute, watching the helpless senior citizen writhe on the ground. Before he too walks away, this young man crouches down, leaning forward until his mouth is right by the injured man's left ear and whispers, "Jesus loves you." 

Ok, a tad unrealistic? Sure. I'm sorry if this rejected movie scene gives you the impression that I hate old people, men, or parking lots. To be honest, I'm quite fond of all three of these things. However, this dramatic depiction does have a point, specifically to give commentary on poor witnessing techniques used by the common Christian. Clearly, if you were to ask the old man on the ground, this "hit and run" method was not as effective as his attackers might have believed it to be. Unsurprisingly, he was probably scared, injured, and confused...but not converted. 

Introducing a topic as weighty as religion can be a scary and daunting task for a Christian, and believers today often have to resort to more creative methods of witnessing in order to make an "impact" for Christ. And you know what, it's great to be different when spreading the Gospel. Have fun with it. But remember, when using unorthodox evangelizing techniques, let's not get too carried away. There's a fine line between overzealous and abrasive. Let's look at a few examples, shall we?

1. Scare Tactics (aka, "Turn or Burn")

Have you ever heard of the pick-up line, "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Yes? Well, did you know that there is a come-back for it? You can reply, "no, I crawled my way up from hell." Did that catch you by surprise? Well, when non-Christians are subject to scare tactics, imagine how they feel. This includes anything from "fake raptures" to putting unsuspecting individuals through creepy, mock-replicas of Hell. You laugh, but it happens. You can't be scared into your salvation. Christianity is about a relationship, not the crusades. If you allow fear to move you towards Christ, your fear can just as easily scare you away from Him later on in your life. You can't expect a true conversion based solely off of fear. 

2. Operation Ambush (aka, "We're Taking a Survey...")

I recently was able to experience this witnessing technique. A friend and I were approached by two females who were conducting a "survey" about religion on our college campus. BUT, not only did they fail to write down any of our information, they spent the majority of the survey talking to my agnostic friend about his beliefs. Not only was this a bit awkward for me, but I felt like these two women were lying to us. 

If you're actually going to conduct a survey...write stuff down. If I was my friend, I might have felt like my intelligence was being insulted. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was a recon-mission for Christ. Bottom line: if you're going to talk about another's beliefs, try not to hide behind a survey. Talk. See how the other person is doing, and if you can openly and respectfully learn about their beliefs and have an opportunity to share your own, then you are witnessing. 

3. Door-to-Door (aka, "Jehovah's Salesman")

In Matthew 7:7, when Jesus says, "...knock and the door will be opened to you," it was metaphorical. If you've been to America, ever, then you know that if there is an unscrupulous character one's doorstep, the door will often remain shut. Now, "unscrupulous" is a subjective term, but for the sake of being as inclusive as possible, this list describes: trick-or-treaters, salesmen, politicians, police officers, Jehovah's Witnesses, and tax auditors. Seriously, unless you are a 12-year old girl selling cookies to earn a badge, this verse doesn't apply to you. 

Strangers approaching your door to "tell you about Jesus" is a scary thing. Instead of driving to someone else's neighborhood,  why don't you focus on the spiritual health of your own? Talk to your neighbors, get to know them, care about them. Chances are, if you're on good terms with the people in your community, they'll be more likely to talk to you about their personal beliefs than some random pedestrians handing out tracts on a Tuesday afternoon. 

I know you've heard the phrase, "actions speak louder than words." Well, this saying has great applications to our faith as Christians. If you act differently than those around you (in a good way...), others may become curious. If others become curious, they may ask why. If they ask why, then BAM...you can tell those curious people about the one relationship in your life that inspires you to love others and the one person who won't ever let you down. Look, I know the Christian "walk" isn't easy, especially when it comes to sharing your faith. In fact, I often feel like my walk is stuck in a crawl, but if you witness out of love in non-abrasive ways, often the results that God inspires in these interactions will be beautiful and certainly not in the least overrated.