Our society teaches children, from a young age, that talking to strangers is highly frowned upon. It's a dangerous and unnecessary risk to take because it can lead to free candy, new friends...wait wrong list. Talking to unfamiliar adults can potentially lead to kidnapping, murder, and conversion to Mormonism. However, customers usually admit that most restaurant/gas station/shopping center employees that they encounter on a daily basis are complete strangers.
So, when did the "anti-stranger" rule change? I know what you are thinking (ok, maybe not...but just hear me out so my ego can remain inflated)..."it's different because they provide a public service in a (usually) safe environment". While this is true, I believe that since most individuals are forced to talk to strangers on a regular basis through such services, there should be special classes that must be successfully completed in order to be allowed to talk to others. For those of us who have never taken such classes, we should come with warning labels.
I know that warning labels are a little extreme for such a tiny part of lives, as we recognize social skills to be, but think about the last time you talked to a stranger. Not even an hour ago I got off work and being the busy introvert I am, I decided to grab food and take it to my room (where I now compose this informational post). I recognized the cashier (I had often seen him before...and he is a fairy attractive, pleasant person), but I did not know his name/age/blood type/life goals/social security number/shoe size/ect. so we are practically strangers. All I wanted was a sandwich, bag of chips, and a drink...pretty simple. I take my potential purchase to the counter where I encounter said cashier. He, smiling, bags my dinner, scans my idea, and asks if I want anything else. I reply that I'm good with what I have. Apparently he thought that I needed some oreos, and he reached across to the cookie display and picks up a pack of oreos, asking if I want any. Since I had no label to warn him of the potential disaster he had risked by engaging me in conversation (despite the fact that it was pretty insignificant), I was allowed to answer his question. So, opening my mouth I looked him in the face and matter-of-factually told him that, "I am very true" regarding oreos. He disregarded my incoherent statement, and I hightailed it out of there.
Looking back (in the 30 minutes since then) I believe I meant to say "I'm very sure" that I didn't want oreos. However, it's a little late for specification...my invisible label failed me. Such labels would not be hard to procure or wear, and I'm sure they could very easily be made in to a trendy jacket, vest, scarf, pair of leggings (which you would be able to read because apparently it's just unheard of to wear anything over them...but that rant is for another day), or any such article of clothing that can be worn. Depending on the size of the person, one might be able to have several warnings labeling various dangers of stranger interaction. Hmmm...now what could such warnings be?
Well, depending on your fear regarding engaging with a strange individual (be that for your own safety or reputation), such warnings might sound like this...
1. Careful, I giggle!
This is for those of you who laugh in awkward or ambiguous situations. When you are unsure of how to respond to a slightly introverted cashier or service worker and your body betrays your fear through annoying laughter...at least you can say you warned them (both regarding your irrational response and how odd you find them/the situation).
2. Do not engage unless prepared to help remove foot from mouth.
While this warning is a bit longer, such wordy individuals such as myself would greatly appreciate it. This is a common disorder more strangers should be aware of. In ambiguous situations such individuals open up their "word hoards" (see what I did there those of you who have read Beowulf...) and their words rush out. However, often times, we might have 2 words fighting each other to be included in a sentence where only one word is necessary. In these cases, such people might accidentally create new words or awkward sentences...but ultimately look stupid and uneducated.
3. Got a mop?
Now luckily I haven't encountered many of these individuals, but some people get so nervous when faced with the prospect of interacting with an unknown person that they being to leak torrents of water from every pore on their body. So, unless you have a mop and bucket on standby for such extreme cases, be wary of the waterworks, and stand clear (unless you have floaties and an extra change of clothes).
4. Not mine...
How many times have you gone to buy something in a grocery store or shopping center that you were not entirely comfortable with claiming at the cash register? While this definition has various levels of extremity,most individuals have experience that awkward moment in the check-out line where your purchase or opposite-gendered cashier makes it awkward to shop. Think about it. Wedding gifts, bridal showers, hygiene items, medical supplements, birthday presents, gag gifts, or underpants can make a trip through the check-out line seem like a scene from the Green Mile (death walk...obviously), and self-check outs are not always available. So when you feel like denying your purchases or when the item(s) in question really aren't yours, this warning label might just weigh enough to "break the ice".
While most of these sound a bit unrealistic, I assure you these warnings (properly displayed on a person) can potentially save embarrassment, time, and self-respect. Not everyone is lucky enough to escape unscathed from such a blustering encounter with a stranger like I did...and next time I might not be so lucky. So, when things are getting awkward and you are regretting that you never sought out stranger-interaction training, have no fear. Warning labels are here...and might I just point out that they are completely beneficial and not overrated in the least.
