Guys will never understand girls, and girls will never...wait, I can't finish that. Kidding...totally kidding. Aside from being created in the image of God, the male and female species (yes, I would consider us that different at times) operate on completely different levels. But, I don't need to explain that to you, infants are born knowing that. So aside from the obvious differences (this is not anatomy class...quick recap) females think, act, and respond to life in a way that is unique to their gender alone. Because I do not actually have experience from a male's mindset (a 50 year-old black characterization in a play one time doesn't really count), I have decided that I would grant all you males out there with a golden opportunity; a small and terrifying glance into the mind and behavior of women everywhere. Hopefully this will illuminate some confusing things and answer some questions about why we are the way we are. However, if you are one of those self-proclaimed "enlightened" males out there who understand women better than they understand themselves, pretend for the duration of this post that you are like every other clueless guy out there. Sit back, and enjoy the ride (please fasten your seat belts and return food tables to their upright positions; worst case scenario...air sickness bags are located under your seat).
1. Hormonal is our middle name
See, I'm starting with the basics. Call it emotions, hormones, pms, a bad day, whatever...the point here is that we can mood swing like it's no one's business. Obvious, I know, but I'm just calling it how it is. This is a fact to about 99.34% of females out there at one point in their lives, so isn't it just a relief that I'm starting by openly declaring that females can be emotional wrecks at times? Contrary to popular belief, this is harder than it looks and (at times) takes some serious talent to pull off. But hey, we always have a reason to change our mood at the drop of a hat. Maybe our cat died. Maybe we got no sleep because we were trying to finish that last project before finals. Maybe that music professor took the last strawberry from the fruit line...you never know. You think we can be scary? Just wait till pregnancy hits...(and it will....like a semi doing 80 coming off of an exit ramp).
2. Independent when the situation demands
Don't get me wrong, chivalry is a very good thing. While in our society it's on life support, it's good to know that it's still alive. I appreciate guys stepping up as much as the next girl, but if I get to the door first...am I supposed to just give it up without a fight? Basically, while most females enjoy being taken care of, we can be resilient and independent. We can drive (ok...I'm working on that one, don't judge me), work, study, lift heavy things...the whole nine yards. Again, I'm not bashing you chivalrous males out there, this is just a reminder that as females, we can do things for ourselves and like to prove it at times...usually when it's most inconvenient to you.
3. When angry, communication takes a hike
I think every male out there knows this one. When burning with the fiery rage of a thousand suns, we do not like to discuss why we are mad at you. Obviously, if we know why we are upset, you should know what you did to make us that way. Personally, I have problems communicating on a regular basis anyway (like many females out there, which is why we "drop hints" like it's nobody's business), so just take this weak skill and divide it by the language capacity of a 4 year old. Yup, that's us when we are mad. (I mean simplified of course, I'd hate for any person out there to think that females are actually capable of throwing tantrums when we are angry...).
4. We over-analyze...everything.
Duh. Many of our problems, "stressors", worries, aggravations, and much more can be traced back to this womanly trait. You think it's a pain? Well, we don't care for it too much either. It may come as a surprise, but it's not very enjoyable to spend unnecessary time and effort recalling and analyzing every little thing that our friends, sisters, brothers, parents, crushes, boyfriends, roommates, ect. said that we can find a double meaning in (and trust me, we can and we will find hidden meanings in everything). If it can be thought, spoken, or physically acted out...it can be over-anaylzed.
5. Romantics at heart
This sounds simple, but it's a little more complex than you may think. Yes, many girls are romantics but not always classified as "contemporary romantics" (chick flicks, romance novels, and candy on Valentine's Day). What makes one girl swoon may make another roll her eyes and laugh at you, not with you (yes, despite what your parents may have told you...there is a difference). Here, the best advice I can give is to figure out what makes us tick, so to speak. Is it flowers, poems, stuffed taxidermy, time, money, pick-up lines, or compliments? Well, I guess that's for each girl to know and for you to find out. Sounds like someone has homework to do...
6. Tougher than we look
This point is to debunk some of those myths classically associated with our gender. Not every girl is afraid of bugs, spiders, snakes, airplane food, mismatched clothes, homeless vagrants, science, and mud. Sure, there are various members of my gender who fit into those categories (and ladies, if you do...no shame, in fact, more power to ya'), but let's not approach the female species as if every female has a life-related phobia. Some girls are scared of everything while others are fearless. We're like pillow-pets, found in similar shapes and molds, but ultimately destined to be treated differently by children everywhere. Wait...
*insert point to all of this madness*...oh wait, there really wasn't one. Instead of pulling out some sort of moral or analogy on how we're all created different and beautifully, I think I'll just point out that guys will never actually figure us out. Sorry guys. While these 6 points might help or educate you to an extent (a very shallow extent, but an extent non-the-less...hey, a kiddie-pool is still considered a pool), the female mind is a bit more complex than this. Of course, that road goes both ways. We may think that we know what guys think, feel, like, ect...but we're usually just as clueless as you are. However, females will always believe that we possess special knowledge into the male mind. So guys, if you want to get on our good sides, just let us keep deluding ourselves. When we inform you that we understand your gender, just nod your heads and smile. Positive reinforcement, especially to females, is very "in" this year and won't be overrated...at least not anytime soon.
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