So I'm standing in Goodwill the other day...oh, wait. This sounds like the introduction to a cute little story or a funny (and slightly offensive) joke. Well, that's not entirely the point of this antecedent. Anyway...I was standing in Goodwill perusing the racks of gently used items, and lo and behold I heard a wail. Not just any wail, the wail of am inconsolable infant who was shrieking for attention while their parent was otherwise occupied. Let me specify...by "infant," I mean a child between the ages of 3 and 4, and by "parent" who "was otherwise occupied," I mean their mom was too busy looking at random junk to actually be attending her child. Oh, I guess she was occasionally yelling at said child in the store. Does that count as good parenting? Maybe contemporary parenting...
Anyway, so while I was exposed to this loud and obtrusive display of improper child-rearing, I received an epiphany: I'm at a great age, a golden age in fact. In one's early
twenties, there are so many opportunities that aren't always taken advantage of. I have less responsibility (it's like I'm an adult, but I'm not), I'm unattached (it's a temporary condition, like dandruff), and if I wanted chicken nuggets at 3am...let's just say Sarrah's gettin' her some nuggets. Does this come as a shock? Uneducated are we? Wait, let me put on my shocked face...there it is. "Please Sarrah, tell me about the plethora of possibilities that I can, as a 20-something year-old, enjoy the benefits of. Well, I'm so glad you asked. Sit back and pay attention cause we're going back to school (and yes, this will be on the test).
1. Less responsibility
I don't have chores at college. I don't have to file taxes (at least...I don't think I do...I'm pretty poor). My dad takes care of that stuff anyway. I don't have a family of my own (so no house cleaning, cooking, or all that nonsense). And, I am SO thankful that I don't have kids. I mean, It's not that I dislike
kids. In fact, if you know me at all, you know that I absolutely love
babies and I find children quite appealing until they get old enough to
start arguing with you (there's a limited window available for this
love). But as a free-loading 20-something, I don't have to worry about all that adult stuff...not yet.
2. Being Young
Some call this "inexperience," I think of it as being in my prime. If were were all produce, the sprightly 20-somethings would be fresher and more appealing to shoppers. I'm not terribly old yet, I'm only 1/5th of the way dead. If 50 year old's have one foot in the grave (not to be insensitive...there is a mathematical formula behind this reasoning) then the big toe on my right foot is casually playing in the loose soil at the bottom of my grave. You know, nothing serious. It's just chillin' there, doing what big toes do in dirt.
4. Making Dumb Decisions
This goes along with number 2. As a young person, a 20-something year-old is not held to the same standard of decision-making as older adults. They do not have the same amount (or type) of life experience for practical application in their young lives. Now, this doesn't mean that dumb choices don't have their consequences, BUT being young, dumb choices have a certain charm to them...a certain expectation is held for young adults. We are supposed to screw up at multiple points in our youth. We wouldn't want to disappoint our elders...
3. Elasticity
Okay...we're not "indestructible," but one of the amazing things of youth is that we're pretty bendable. You know, we "go with the flow." Now, this isn't the case for every event in our young lives, but it's like what I said earlier. If we want to get/have/eat/enjoy/do/see something at an unseemly hour of the day or night, our young bodies/mentalities allow us to more easily drop what we're doing and go forth to secure the item/thing we wanted. Sure we might get less sleep, but as young people, our bodies are more forgiving (did I also mention less joint pain?).
Huh...only 4 benefits of youth. Go figure. Well, I suppose that being in your 20's is full of plenty more benefits and opportunities, but being in my youth (and time is precious), I don't have nearly enough time to list them all. By the time I finished that list, I would be in my 50's...and then I'd be half-way dead. And then I would have to deal with adult responsibilities, I wouldn't be young, and my elasticity would have worn out (like a stretched-out rubber band...or a basset hound's face). Anyway, I'm not saying that growing up is overrated...we all have to do it sometime. But, not taking advantage of the benefits of youth, now that's overrated.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Can't Buy Me Love
It's that time of year again...boyfriends flood the nearest Wal-Mart in the vain attempts (especially if they waited this late) to snatch up a fluffy, overpriced teddy bear holding a heart between it's paws. Or, if they consider themselves especially romantic, they might be looking for a "non-conformist" stuff animal, candy, flowers, or a Hallmark card. I mean, we all know that nothing says "I love you" like one of the millions of mass-produced stuffed dogs sold on Valentine's Day. Whoops...I guess now you know what today is. I was trying to let you down easy.
It's not like I have anything against this commercialized expression of love. If that's how you show someone you care for them one day per year, that's your prerogative. Don't let me spoil it for you. I just find this holiday a little too "cut and dry" for my taste.
Seriously, think about it; if you are dating someone, modern society practically dictates what you do (aka....try to be romantic so you can tell your friends that you are still in a relationship come February 15th). If you aren't dating (you poor socially-awkward lepers), obviously you have a couple options of your own. So...for your (and especially my own) entertainment and education, I've made today a bit clearer for you. Here are all of the pigeon-holes created by Valentine's Day. Say you don't belong to one...I dare you.
1. "The Newlyweds"
Maybe you just started dating and this is your first Consumerism's Day...Valentine's Day together. Or, maybe you've been dating for awhile (or GASP! married...), and you two love birds just love love (the idea, physical manifestation of, being in debt, or each other). Then obviously, this is your holiday. So, go out and spend your monthly salaries to make each other happy. We won't judge you. There's at least a quarter of the population who are (or claim to be) just like you (why do you think so many babies are born in November?).
2. "The Little Rascal"
In an effort to avoid sexism, I named this individual after the popular television show most of you are too young to remember watching. I wanted to call this one "The Man Hater"...but I realized that some men hate women, some women hate kittens, and some kittens hate men (so obviously I would try to pick a title that was a bit more "non-descriptive"). This individual, for they are exactly that...alone, are completely content with being alone at Valentine's Day. While they might not "hate" (that's a really strong word) the opposite gender, they haven't yet found "the one" and spend Valentine's Day in one of three ways:
4. "The Heart Breaker"
Because there are those people who despise such a holiday, this individual is the .3% of the population who view this "day of romance" as the perfect opportunity to ditch their significant other. Sure, it's a bit harsh...but it's an expensive world (especially around Valentine's Day).
5. "The Old Couple"
Maybe they are madly in love and as crazy about each other as two kids (let's pretend that this description is simply ironic and does not come with an assigned age range...) can be. That doesn't mean that they celebrate Valentine's Day. This couple, whether they learned this from their parents, over time, or it just hit them one day out of the blue (still not sure what that idiom means...), don't celebrate Valentine's Day by choice. They recognize the day for what it truly is, a celebration of consumerism, and they refuse to be a part of it; this couple doesn't need one day a year to tell each other with material items how they feel about their relationship. They show each other every day. I'm not gonna lie...while they may be a little hard to find, these are my favorite people.
Okay, so maybe that was not as "cut and dry" as I claimed it was going to be. Why don't you go out and buy some heart-shaped candies and flowers to comfort yourself. I mean, if you're single that is. If not, than go ahead you Cheap-a-saurus Rex! Go buy some love for your sweetie (are kids still using this word nowadays? Maybe I should say beau or boo-thang'). Anyway, the whole point of this wasn't to say that I'm bitter or cynical towards love (even though those are two completely plausible conclusions that you may have found yourself at upon reading this informative and completely unbiased public service announcement). I love love; it's not the idea behind it that I'm so infatuated with, but the genuine, wordless love that you see expressed between families, friends, (and most importantly and visually) God to us. Maybe that's the true idea of love that we should be celebrating. The love of the Father who gave His beloved son for us. Now THAT ladies and gents is not overrated in the slightest.
It's not like I have anything against this commercialized expression of love. If that's how you show someone you care for them one day per year, that's your prerogative. Don't let me spoil it for you. I just find this holiday a little too "cut and dry" for my taste.
Seriously, think about it; if you are dating someone, modern society practically dictates what you do (aka....try to be romantic so you can tell your friends that you are still in a relationship come February 15th). If you aren't dating (you poor socially-awkward lepers), obviously you have a couple options of your own. So...for your (and especially my own) entertainment and education, I've made today a bit clearer for you. Here are all of the pigeon-holes created by Valentine's Day. Say you don't belong to one...I dare you.
1. "The Newlyweds"
Maybe you just started dating and this is your first Consumerism's Day...Valentine's Day together. Or, maybe you've been dating for awhile (or GASP! married...), and you two love birds just love love (the idea, physical manifestation of, being in debt, or each other). Then obviously, this is your holiday. So, go out and spend your monthly salaries to make each other happy. We won't judge you. There's at least a quarter of the population who are (or claim to be) just like you (why do you think so many babies are born in November?).
2. "The Little Rascal"
In an effort to avoid sexism, I named this individual after the popular television show most of you are too young to remember watching. I wanted to call this one "The Man Hater"...but I realized that some men hate women, some women hate kittens, and some kittens hate men (so obviously I would try to pick a title that was a bit more "non-descriptive"). This individual, for they are exactly that...alone, are completely content with being alone at Valentine's Day. While they might not "hate" (that's a really strong word) the opposite gender, they haven't yet found "the one" and spend Valentine's Day in one of three ways:
I. Moping ("Woe is Me! I'm Single!")
II. Celebrating ("Whoo hoo! I'm Free!")
III. In a state of Apathy ("That's today? I didn't even notice.")
IIII. Romancing Alone ("Of course this candy is for me...")
3. "The Opportunist"
This person may/may not be in a loving relationship, but they see Valentine's Day as a commercial gain. Whether they are the single individual who has always wanted a heart-shaped pillow and see a good pre-Valentine's Day deal on one or they have a wicked sweet-tooth and take advantage of the clearance post-Valentine's Day sale on heart-shaped candy. They see something they want at an alleged "low price", and by golly they take it.
4. "The Heart Breaker"
Because there are those people who despise such a holiday, this individual is the .3% of the population who view this "day of romance" as the perfect opportunity to ditch their significant other. Sure, it's a bit harsh...but it's an expensive world (especially around Valentine's Day).
5. "The Old Couple"
Maybe they are madly in love and as crazy about each other as two kids (let's pretend that this description is simply ironic and does not come with an assigned age range...) can be. That doesn't mean that they celebrate Valentine's Day. This couple, whether they learned this from their parents, over time, or it just hit them one day out of the blue (still not sure what that idiom means...), don't celebrate Valentine's Day by choice. They recognize the day for what it truly is, a celebration of consumerism, and they refuse to be a part of it; this couple doesn't need one day a year to tell each other with material items how they feel about their relationship. They show each other every day. I'm not gonna lie...while they may be a little hard to find, these are my favorite people.
Okay, so maybe that was not as "cut and dry" as I claimed it was going to be. Why don't you go out and buy some heart-shaped candies and flowers to comfort yourself. I mean, if you're single that is. If not, than go ahead you Cheap-a-saurus Rex! Go buy some love for your sweetie (are kids still using this word nowadays? Maybe I should say beau or boo-thang'). Anyway, the whole point of this wasn't to say that I'm bitter or cynical towards love (even though those are two completely plausible conclusions that you may have found yourself at upon reading this informative and completely unbiased public service announcement). I love love; it's not the idea behind it that I'm so infatuated with, but the genuine, wordless love that you see expressed between families, friends, (and most importantly and visually) God to us. Maybe that's the true idea of love that we should be celebrating. The love of the Father who gave His beloved son for us. Now THAT ladies and gents is not overrated in the slightest.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Un-Adulterated
Since turning 20, I have come to 3 conclusions:
These vital and life-changing realizations have all been made while I was in school. What can I say, at least I have learned something useful in college. God knows (everything...but specifically) that I'm paying them enough that I should at least receive something useful out of it. Personally, if upon graduation my school offered me an apartment (all expenses paid for one year), a decent job, a full ride to the grad school of my choice, and a puppy...let's just say I'd be one extremely satisfied graduate. But unless there's a puppy, no deal (because obviously that would be the most difficult stipulation for them to pull off).
I'm not saying that getting a degree in addition to the basic 12-years of public schooling bliss isn't important. Quite the contrary, in fact. In order to get a decent job in this economy, you need to have some extra e-d-u (short for education...please try to keep up) tucked under your academic belt. Yes, it is expensive (my, you're quite observant). If there is one consistent thing that students everywhere enjoy complaining about (besides questionable cafeteria food) it's the price of tuition. If I ever have kids (geniuses, of course) and wanted to put them through school (through their academic valor, of course), it would probably cost them 4 pints of blood and their first born child. That's how ridiculous tuition is. No joke.
However, one thing that greatly irritates me (occasionally surmounting my irritation with tuition prices, girls who think leggings are pants, and 12-year-olds with iPhones) is the "highschool dating scene" that translates into the college atmosphere among the freshman, and occasionally sophomore, class. Being in college does not make you an adult. Yes, there are many new and fresh faces brimming with testosterone and estrogen (I mean males and females...nothing in between). BUT, just because you see a new attractive face, body, ect, does not mean that you should feel obligated/allowed to ask out said attractive person after knowing them for 2 months because you are "an adult" in "college."
I witnessed this phenomenon when I was a freshman and have seen it duplicated every year since. Freshmen come to college. Freshmen see pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen like pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen hang out in a group of friends with said pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen eventually ask out pretty, opposite gendered people. All goes well from a few weeks to nearly a year. Come back from break, and all hell breaks loose. I cannot stand it when individuals within a newly formed group of friends begin to date. If the relationship doesn't work out, the group won't stay the same. What can I say, I'm a sucker for consistency. Some of the mutual friends will stick with both friends, some will pick one friend that they are closer to, and other friends will throw their hands up in the air and wave them like they just don't care.
Ok, that last part was a bit exaggerated...I only wave one arm in the air. It happens all the time though. See if I'm wrong. Next time you're out on the wildlife preserve known as the university campus, watch the native inhabitants. I guarantee that the vast majority of couples you'll find coupling' it up won't be together in a year (maybe less). This isn't to say that I'm against all relationships. I know a vast majority of relationships that are steady, serious, and have/or likely will end in marriage. I'm overjoyed for these individuals, thrilled even. I'm merely commenting that based on how dating is often treated in a flippant, irreverent manner (for sport, curiosity, entertainment, rather than with serious and long-term intentions), I have become a bit cynical towards college dating. I almost wish that teenagers weren't allowed to date either:
A. until they got to college (that's the level of enthusiasm many of them show anyway)
B. until they have a steady job (because it's really romantic when all your dates occur on campus...)
C. when their parents tell them they can (so what if some won't be able to date until they're married...)
D. when God gives them permission
Obviously, 'D' is the absolute best answer (which is often a combination of A-C). My whole mindset as a result of such continuous unification and splintering is simply this, "I am Switzerland." Side note, have you ever considered how Switzerlanders...Switzerlandians...the Swiss feel about our use of their country in such a non-committal personification? It's kind of like saying, "I'm feeling Canadian" when you feel like calling ham "bacon," paying to much for books, and adding an "ay" to the end of all your sentences. Anyway, back to the Swiss. My whole point with this analogy is that when my friends and acquaintances break up, get together, and date in an overall ADD fashion...I try to stay out of it. I'll hang out with whoever will have me, and I'll try to show love to everyone I encounter. Albeit a very sarcastic and cynical type of verbal affection, for the most part, but I'm trying to work on that. I'm close to those I'm close with, and I try not to let their personal life choices dissuade me from doing so.
Earlier, I put college in quotes (for you non-scholarly individuals, I mean these " ") in an attempt to question the sanity and realistic nature of higher learning universities and institutes but merely to elaborate on the silliness of the emphatic belief that college=adulthood. Attending college does not make you an adult any more than working at McDonald's makes you a BigMac. College, over time, might make you a more responsible and mature adult as you live on your own and realize how much your decisions affect you. Continuing with the Mickey D's analogy I suppose translates as the longer you work, the greater potential you have of getting fat (not entirely a stretch when you think about it...).
Ultimately, in both cases, you have a chance, an opportunity. In my professional opinion, immediately diving into the dating pool in college is a mistake and (what can only be described as) an overrated cultural practice, finding your academic footing for a semester or two as a single scholar (and soon-to-be adult) is usually a wise move. However, what you choose to do in college is up to you, so in the words of the geriatric knight Harrison Ford encounters while looking for the Holy Grail, "choose wisely".
1. It's impossible to make everyone happy.
2. No Shave November isn't just for guys.
3. I'm never going to grow up.These vital and life-changing realizations have all been made while I was in school. What can I say, at least I have learned something useful in college. God knows (everything...but specifically) that I'm paying them enough that I should at least receive something useful out of it. Personally, if upon graduation my school offered me an apartment (all expenses paid for one year), a decent job, a full ride to the grad school of my choice, and a puppy...let's just say I'd be one extremely satisfied graduate. But unless there's a puppy, no deal (because obviously that would be the most difficult stipulation for them to pull off).
I'm not saying that getting a degree in addition to the basic 12-years of public schooling bliss isn't important. Quite the contrary, in fact. In order to get a decent job in this economy, you need to have some extra e-d-u (short for education...please try to keep up) tucked under your academic belt. Yes, it is expensive (my, you're quite observant). If there is one consistent thing that students everywhere enjoy complaining about (besides questionable cafeteria food) it's the price of tuition. If I ever have kids (geniuses, of course) and wanted to put them through school (through their academic valor, of course), it would probably cost them 4 pints of blood and their first born child. That's how ridiculous tuition is. No joke.
However, one thing that greatly irritates me (occasionally surmounting my irritation with tuition prices, girls who think leggings are pants, and 12-year-olds with iPhones) is the "highschool dating scene" that translates into the college atmosphere among the freshman, and occasionally sophomore, class. Being in college does not make you an adult. Yes, there are many new and fresh faces brimming with testosterone and estrogen (I mean males and females...nothing in between). BUT, just because you see a new attractive face, body, ect, does not mean that you should feel obligated/allowed to ask out said attractive person after knowing them for 2 months because you are "an adult" in "college."
I witnessed this phenomenon when I was a freshman and have seen it duplicated every year since. Freshmen come to college. Freshmen see pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen like pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen hang out in a group of friends with said pretty, opposite gendered people. Freshmen eventually ask out pretty, opposite gendered people. All goes well from a few weeks to nearly a year. Come back from break, and all hell breaks loose. I cannot stand it when individuals within a newly formed group of friends begin to date. If the relationship doesn't work out, the group won't stay the same. What can I say, I'm a sucker for consistency. Some of the mutual friends will stick with both friends, some will pick one friend that they are closer to, and other friends will throw their hands up in the air and wave them like they just don't care.
Ok, that last part was a bit exaggerated...I only wave one arm in the air. It happens all the time though. See if I'm wrong. Next time you're out on the wildlife preserve known as the university campus, watch the native inhabitants. I guarantee that the vast majority of couples you'll find coupling' it up won't be together in a year (maybe less). This isn't to say that I'm against all relationships. I know a vast majority of relationships that are steady, serious, and have/or likely will end in marriage. I'm overjoyed for these individuals, thrilled even. I'm merely commenting that based on how dating is often treated in a flippant, irreverent manner (for sport, curiosity, entertainment, rather than with serious and long-term intentions), I have become a bit cynical towards college dating. I almost wish that teenagers weren't allowed to date either:
A. until they got to college (that's the level of enthusiasm many of them show anyway)
B. until they have a steady job (because it's really romantic when all your dates occur on campus...)
C. when their parents tell them they can (so what if some won't be able to date until they're married...)
D. when God gives them permission
Obviously, 'D' is the absolute best answer (which is often a combination of A-C). My whole mindset as a result of such continuous unification and splintering is simply this, "I am Switzerland." Side note, have you ever considered how Switzerlanders...Switzerlandians...the Swiss feel about our use of their country in such a non-committal personification? It's kind of like saying, "I'm feeling Canadian" when you feel like calling ham "bacon," paying to much for books, and adding an "ay" to the end of all your sentences. Anyway, back to the Swiss. My whole point with this analogy is that when my friends and acquaintances break up, get together, and date in an overall ADD fashion...I try to stay out of it. I'll hang out with whoever will have me, and I'll try to show love to everyone I encounter. Albeit a very sarcastic and cynical type of verbal affection, for the most part, but I'm trying to work on that. I'm close to those I'm close with, and I try not to let their personal life choices dissuade me from doing so.
Earlier, I put college in quotes (for you non-scholarly individuals, I mean these " ") in an attempt to question the sanity and realistic nature of higher learning universities and institutes but merely to elaborate on the silliness of the emphatic belief that college=adulthood. Attending college does not make you an adult any more than working at McDonald's makes you a BigMac. College, over time, might make you a more responsible and mature adult as you live on your own and realize how much your decisions affect you. Continuing with the Mickey D's analogy I suppose translates as the longer you work, the greater potential you have of getting fat (not entirely a stretch when you think about it...).
Ultimately, in both cases, you have a chance, an opportunity. In my professional opinion, immediately diving into the dating pool in college is a mistake and (what can only be described as) an overrated cultural practice, finding your academic footing for a semester or two as a single scholar (and soon-to-be adult) is usually a wise move. However, what you choose to do in college is up to you, so in the words of the geriatric knight Harrison Ford encounters while looking for the Holy Grail, "choose wisely".
Monday, September 3, 2012
Dorm 101
So the institutions...I mean colleges across the country are once again packed full of nearly broke young people (with the occasional oldie-locks thrown in...and that means old people if you don't know what that euphemism means) who are ready to start this semester with its glorious tests, papers, and scary professors. For freshman, most sophomores, and those juniors/seniors who opt to do it, staying on campus seems quite attractive...at times. Is it fun and games and rainbows and sunshine all the time? No. Most of the time? No. Even half the time? NO.
That being said, what can you expect from living in a dorm? Utmost privacy and courteous suite mates right? Heh heh heh...you don't even know.
1. Bunks are low, ceilings are lower
Bunks beds are a beautiful thing. (How's that for a little alliteration?) However, they come in one of two ways...either they give the bottom bunker (heh heh...sounds funny) ample head room and the top bunker a concussion every time they get into bed OR the bed squishes the bottom bunker and gives the top bunker plenty of...well everything room. My bed is kind of in the middle. Luckily my bottom bunker-roomie-friend is tiny and a bit short so she fits quite nicely into the bottom bed, but while my bed is pretty reasonable in height...the ceiling doesn't agree. Let's just say I have had a few close calls and one almost-nearly-permanent head trauma incident when I wanted a mere nap. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently it was...
2. No magic allowed
Puppies, babies, rainbows, crock pots, toaster ovens, hedgehogs, babies, boys, power tools, and electromagnets...what do they all have in common? Well, they're all a small piece of magic that brings happiness to girls everywhere, AND they're not allowed in my college dorm. I mean, I could maybe understand the rainbows and the boys...but toaster ovens?! Really? Way to be lame school, way to be lame.
3. The walls have ears
So you know how walls are supposed to keep sound out (at least to a small degree)...yeah, these walls don't do that. Especially the bathroom walls. While, at least at college, we're all adults (ok, let's just pretend that this statement applies to all of us) about bathroom things, since when is it a smart idea to blast rap music in the bathroom at 8am? Or even to have shouting matches with your "honey boo thing"
in the bathroom no matter what hour? Let's just say, what happens in your room/bathroom/suite mates room isn't as private as you might think it is. A little tact would be nice...
4. The AC is alive
So you put your air conditioner on one temperature and then you come back a few hours later...and it's different!! Whoa! Yeah, I think it gets its kicks out of cooling down to a reasonable temperature and then dropping down to ice age levels when you least expect. By the end of the semester...I might just have frostbite.
5. Suite mates can bite
So because you can only sign up with people who are living with you in your room, you have no control over who gets to share your bathroom with you. This can sometimes manifest itself as a pleasant surprise and other times...let's just say it rhymes with durst white-hair (please tell me you got that..."worst nightmare"). You either get a good one or a scary one...kind of like the lottery. Too bad I'm not one to gamble.
6. A meeting of minds
So if you live on campus, every hallway has it's resident "baby sitter". No, the school does not refer to them as such...I think the practical term is RA (really awesome, regular aardvarks, rusty artists...). Anyway, they have these snazzy meetings once a month to tell us things that we already know (it's quite redundant really) and make sure we're not dead. Overall, it's one aggravation that I'd rather not deal with. Not to say that RAs are horrible...it's just like having a pet turtle, kind of stinks and is altogether pointless.
Now these are only some of the negative aspects of living in the dorms. Honestly, it's not horrible. Is it more expensive than living off campus? Yes. Does it come with it's limitations? Of course. But overall, you're closer to your classes, you don't have to spend gas getting to class, and you're closer to your friends. So yes, that's living in the dorms (warts and all). If you ever get the hankering to come and visit the inmates at my school...students. Whatever. Anyway, if you ever want to see what it's really like to live like a hermit on these murky shores. Give me a call. As crazy as it can be, it's usually sorta-kinda not too much overrated.
That being said, what can you expect from living in a dorm? Utmost privacy and courteous suite mates right? Heh heh heh...you don't even know.
1. Bunks are low, ceilings are lower
Bunks beds are a beautiful thing. (How's that for a little alliteration?) However, they come in one of two ways...either they give the bottom bunker (heh heh...sounds funny) ample head room and the top bunker a concussion every time they get into bed OR the bed squishes the bottom bunker and gives the top bunker plenty of...well everything room. My bed is kind of in the middle. Luckily my bottom bunker-roomie-friend is tiny and a bit short so she fits quite nicely into the bottom bed, but while my bed is pretty reasonable in height...the ceiling doesn't agree. Let's just say I have had a few close calls and one almost-nearly-permanent head trauma incident when I wanted a mere nap. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently it was...
2. No magic allowed
Puppies, babies, rainbows, crock pots, toaster ovens, hedgehogs, babies, boys, power tools, and electromagnets...what do they all have in common? Well, they're all a small piece of magic that brings happiness to girls everywhere, AND they're not allowed in my college dorm. I mean, I could maybe understand the rainbows and the boys...but toaster ovens?! Really? Way to be lame school, way to be lame.
3. The walls have ears
So you know how walls are supposed to keep sound out (at least to a small degree)...yeah, these walls don't do that. Especially the bathroom walls. While, at least at college, we're all adults (ok, let's just pretend that this statement applies to all of us) about bathroom things, since when is it a smart idea to blast rap music in the bathroom at 8am? Or even to have shouting matches with your "honey boo thing"
in the bathroom no matter what hour? Let's just say, what happens in your room/bathroom/suite mates room isn't as private as you might think it is. A little tact would be nice...
4. The AC is alive
So you put your air conditioner on one temperature and then you come back a few hours later...and it's different!! Whoa! Yeah, I think it gets its kicks out of cooling down to a reasonable temperature and then dropping down to ice age levels when you least expect. By the end of the semester...I might just have frostbite.
5. Suite mates can bite
So because you can only sign up with people who are living with you in your room, you have no control over who gets to share your bathroom with you. This can sometimes manifest itself as a pleasant surprise and other times...let's just say it rhymes with durst white-hair (please tell me you got that..."worst nightmare"). You either get a good one or a scary one...kind of like the lottery. Too bad I'm not one to gamble.
6. A meeting of minds
So if you live on campus, every hallway has it's resident "baby sitter". No, the school does not refer to them as such...I think the practical term is RA (really awesome, regular aardvarks, rusty artists...). Anyway, they have these snazzy meetings once a month to tell us things that we already know (it's quite redundant really) and make sure we're not dead. Overall, it's one aggravation that I'd rather not deal with. Not to say that RAs are horrible...it's just like having a pet turtle, kind of stinks and is altogether pointless.
Now these are only some of the negative aspects of living in the dorms. Honestly, it's not horrible. Is it more expensive than living off campus? Yes. Does it come with it's limitations? Of course. But overall, you're closer to your classes, you don't have to spend gas getting to class, and you're closer to your friends. So yes, that's living in the dorms (warts and all). If you ever get the hankering to come and visit the inmates at my school...students. Whatever. Anyway, if you ever want to see what it's really like to live like a hermit on these murky shores. Give me a call. As crazy as it can be, it's usually sorta-kinda not too much overrated.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Shifting Gears
If the act of living one's life was compared to driving a car (you can decide whether it looks more like a Mercedes or a jalopy...just don't get carried away) then you could say that this truck has spent most of her life in third gear. In other (more fleshly) terms, you might argue that I've spent much of my soon-to-be 20 years on earth as a "third wheel". This is not a bad thing in the slightest. While it may be awkward at times, I now see this as a gift. However, throughout the various chapters of my third-wheeled life, I did not always appreciate being the "odd-woman out". Let's have a quick look-see at what exactly this means and maybe you too shall gain a new understanding on what it means to be single.
Stage 1 - Ignorance
"Go out with you guys? Sure. Why not? Sounds like fun. I'm there. Give me 30 minutes." (And hence my childish though process) I didn't always know what I was, concerning being the "third-wheel". Oftentimes I was just excited to be included for outings and events and didn't question why I was invited...yeah. I was a bit slow as a child (insert joke questioning this past tense reference or my current definition of myself as not being a child...yup, real original). As I got older however, I quickly outgrew the blissful ignorance from which this stage is so aptly named.
Stage 2 -Despair
"What?! A third wheel?? Since when?? That long ago!? Oh man, I'm going to die alone!!" (And hence my thought process went something like that after I came to the realization...every single time I was invited out with a group of at least 1 couple or more)
Stage 3 - Rebellion
"Me go out with you guys? Nah, I'm just gonna stay here. Thanks guys, maybe next time. I'm not really in the mood to go out right now. How many people are going? Just you two? Maybe next time." (And hence my new thought process...I might die alone, but I'm not going to let couples feel sorry for me or use me as the "safety net" in their outings. Just leave room for Jesus why don't 'ya?)
Stage 4 - Acceptance
Well, I kind of like you two young'ns, and I don't mind going to see a movie. I suppose I can endure the constant bombardment on my senses to see you two cuddling for 2 hours...but no pet names. There's a couple of other third-wheels going? I can definitely go." (And hence the slightly kinder, but still enlightened, thought process)
Stage 5 - Rockin' It
"I should start a Bible study for other third wheels. Yes, single power! Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday too, except I don't have to buy processed love tokens for my "special someone"...I get to have a couple-free day! Just run along now to your fancy dinner...I've got my two men, Ben and Jerry, to keep me company." (And hence my realization that I can rock being one of the few drivers still in third gear)
Now, I'm not knockin' on you fellow drivers cruising along with that special someone in the passenger's seat. If that's how you roll, then by all means, roll right on by. Don't mind me. I'm may be truckin' along at a slightly slower speed, but I'm still moving. I've driven past so many accidents and collisions that it's hard to keep them all straight as they break apart and find a new passenger to contend with. My advice/words of wisdom today concerning this occurrence would be to not "rush into a road trip". (Yes, I'm still describing relationships in car-metaphor...try to keep up)
I have had so many awkward trips where it was me and X number of couples. Not saying I didn't have a good time, but giving your third wheel a heads-up as to the possibility that they will be cruising alone on the outing is not a bad idea. As much as you and your "beloved" may wish to promise that your single friend won't feel left out...yeah, let's just not promise that. Who knows, one day I might just bump into another truck/car/hopefully it moves with 4 wheels heading in the same direction as me, and I might decide to ride shotgun for awhile. Until that day comes though I'm going to sit down, find some rockin' tunes, grab the wheel, and just enjoy the ride...which isn't overrated as far as I'm concerned.
Stage 1 - Ignorance
"Go out with you guys? Sure. Why not? Sounds like fun. I'm there. Give me 30 minutes." (And hence my childish though process) I didn't always know what I was, concerning being the "third-wheel". Oftentimes I was just excited to be included for outings and events and didn't question why I was invited...yeah. I was a bit slow as a child (insert joke questioning this past tense reference or my current definition of myself as not being a child...yup, real original). As I got older however, I quickly outgrew the blissful ignorance from which this stage is so aptly named.
Stage 2 -Despair
"What?! A third wheel?? Since when?? That long ago!? Oh man, I'm going to die alone!!" (And hence my thought process went something like that after I came to the realization...every single time I was invited out with a group of at least 1 couple or more)
Stage 3 - Rebellion
"Me go out with you guys? Nah, I'm just gonna stay here. Thanks guys, maybe next time. I'm not really in the mood to go out right now. How many people are going? Just you two? Maybe next time." (And hence my new thought process...I might die alone, but I'm not going to let couples feel sorry for me or use me as the "safety net" in their outings. Just leave room for Jesus why don't 'ya?)
Stage 4 - Acceptance
Well, I kind of like you two young'ns, and I don't mind going to see a movie. I suppose I can endure the constant bombardment on my senses to see you two cuddling for 2 hours...but no pet names. There's a couple of other third-wheels going? I can definitely go." (And hence the slightly kinder, but still enlightened, thought process)
Stage 5 - Rockin' It
"I should start a Bible study for other third wheels. Yes, single power! Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday too, except I don't have to buy processed love tokens for my "special someone"...I get to have a couple-free day! Just run along now to your fancy dinner...I've got my two men, Ben and Jerry, to keep me company." (And hence my realization that I can rock being one of the few drivers still in third gear)
Now, I'm not knockin' on you fellow drivers cruising along with that special someone in the passenger's seat. If that's how you roll, then by all means, roll right on by. Don't mind me. I'm may be truckin' along at a slightly slower speed, but I'm still moving. I've driven past so many accidents and collisions that it's hard to keep them all straight as they break apart and find a new passenger to contend with. My advice/words of wisdom today concerning this occurrence would be to not "rush into a road trip". (Yes, I'm still describing relationships in car-metaphor...try to keep up)
I have had so many awkward trips where it was me and X number of couples. Not saying I didn't have a good time, but giving your third wheel a heads-up as to the possibility that they will be cruising alone on the outing is not a bad idea. As much as you and your "beloved" may wish to promise that your single friend won't feel left out...yeah, let's just not promise that. Who knows, one day I might just bump into another truck/car/hopefully it moves with 4 wheels heading in the same direction as me, and I might decide to ride shotgun for awhile. Until that day comes though I'm going to sit down, find some rockin' tunes, grab the wheel, and just enjoy the ride...which isn't overrated as far as I'm concerned.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Animal Realism
Today, I was picking up dog feces/crap/poop/excrement in my backyard (yes, it's not the most glamorous job...I am fully aware of that). So, to escape from the joys that are dog poop, I let my mind wander (a dangerous pastime...movie quote anyone?) and dwell upon the phrase "to be a fly on the wall". I suppose I now see the irony of thinking of flies while dealing with poop, but at the time such ironies escaped me. Anyway, flies. I begin to think of instances in which I would enjoy being a fly on the wall and found that most of them would never work. Why? So glad you asked.
As a relatively outspoken individual (and a female), there is no way that I could just stand back and watch if something exciting is taking place in the same room. I would buzz, annoy, dive-bomb, and be overall as distracting as I could be. That being said, why do we use animals so frequently to describe situations? Most of they time those metaphors don't accurately portray the situation. So, in the spirit of fun (and realism), let's ruin some other animal affiliated metaphors, shall we?
1. Who let the cat out of the bag?
I'm not sure why the answer to this question is necessarily a "bad thing". Animal lovers everywhere (and PETA...people eating tasty animals) would be ecstatic if someone let a cat out of a bag. So metaphorically speaking, if I ruin a surprise or spill a secret, shouldn't PETA be happy with me? I may lose my friends, but I get new animal obsessed ones...a win-win?
2. The elephant in the room
I am inclined to view this metaphor as more of a fat joke and less of an actual metaphor. If that is the case, everyone knows that "friendly elephant in the room"...moving on.
3. Eats like a bird
People have used this metaphor/simile wrong for ever. Birds consume so much stinkin' food (not literally "stinking", this is just to emphasize how the vast quantity of food they actually eat) every day. Most birds actually eat up to half of their body weight every day. So next time you see that skinny girl you want to hate on (but secretly want to look like), say that you wish she ate like a bird...cause using metaphors wrong is just stupid.
4. Swims like a fish
Fish can swim. Humans can walk. Cars break down...that's not the point. Swimming like a fish and not actually being a fish is indeed impressive, but is it accurate? Does your Michael Phelps-wanna-be friend on the swim team actually have gills? Well, can he breathe underwater? Until some things (like his anatomical structure) start changing, best be keeping your incorrect opinions to yourself. Let the fish do what they do best...judge your friend for swimming like a human.
5. Dead dog tired
This one just seems a kind of mean. You are actually as physically exhausted as your deceased canine? Scruffy? Trixy? Mr. Cuddles? Now you're just bringing up painful memories...
Have I proven my point yet? Need I go on? Trust me...I could. I am in no way hating on metaphors. I, personally, love metaphors and similes. In fact, I don't think we (as people, humans, and especially Americans) use them enough in everyday language. However, I encourage you to consider exactly what the metaphors you use are actually implying. It would be terribly rude to imagine yourself as a fly and, realistically, not be able to keep your thoughts inside your tiny fly head...thus resulting in you (as a fly) appearing to be having a seizure without any little fly medics around to save you. Appearing to suffer an inexplicably horrible fly death just doesn't seem worth the cost of using one little animal metaphor, so pay attention. "Great metaphors come with great responsibility". Try keeping that in mind while you regurgitate nifty metaphors for your friends' amusement. While not the enemy, abusing animal metaphors at any time can quickly become painful and unsurprisingly overrated.
As a relatively outspoken individual (and a female), there is no way that I could just stand back and watch if something exciting is taking place in the same room. I would buzz, annoy, dive-bomb, and be overall as distracting as I could be. That being said, why do we use animals so frequently to describe situations? Most of they time those metaphors don't accurately portray the situation. So, in the spirit of fun (and realism), let's ruin some other animal affiliated metaphors, shall we?
1. Who let the cat out of the bag?
I'm not sure why the answer to this question is necessarily a "bad thing". Animal lovers everywhere (and PETA...people eating tasty animals) would be ecstatic if someone let a cat out of a bag. So metaphorically speaking, if I ruin a surprise or spill a secret, shouldn't PETA be happy with me? I may lose my friends, but I get new animal obsessed ones...a win-win?
2. The elephant in the room
I am inclined to view this metaphor as more of a fat joke and less of an actual metaphor. If that is the case, everyone knows that "friendly elephant in the room"...moving on.
3. Eats like a bird
People have used this metaphor/simile wrong for ever. Birds consume so much stinkin' food (not literally "stinking", this is just to emphasize how the vast quantity of food they actually eat) every day. Most birds actually eat up to half of their body weight every day. So next time you see that skinny girl you want to hate on (but secretly want to look like), say that you wish she ate like a bird...cause using metaphors wrong is just stupid.
4. Swims like a fish
Fish can swim. Humans can walk. Cars break down...that's not the point. Swimming like a fish and not actually being a fish is indeed impressive, but is it accurate? Does your Michael Phelps-wanna-be friend on the swim team actually have gills? Well, can he breathe underwater? Until some things (like his anatomical structure) start changing, best be keeping your incorrect opinions to yourself. Let the fish do what they do best...judge your friend for swimming like a human.
5. Dead dog tired
This one just seems a kind of mean. You are actually as physically exhausted as your deceased canine? Scruffy? Trixy? Mr. Cuddles? Now you're just bringing up painful memories...
Have I proven my point yet? Need I go on? Trust me...I could. I am in no way hating on metaphors. I, personally, love metaphors and similes. In fact, I don't think we (as people, humans, and especially Americans) use them enough in everyday language. However, I encourage you to consider exactly what the metaphors you use are actually implying. It would be terribly rude to imagine yourself as a fly and, realistically, not be able to keep your thoughts inside your tiny fly head...thus resulting in you (as a fly) appearing to be having a seizure without any little fly medics around to save you. Appearing to suffer an inexplicably horrible fly death just doesn't seem worth the cost of using one little animal metaphor, so pay attention. "Great metaphors come with great responsibility". Try keeping that in mind while you regurgitate nifty metaphors for your friends' amusement. While not the enemy, abusing animal metaphors at any time can quickly become painful and unsurprisingly overrated.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Camp Etiquette
Summer is at full swing (and I'm not talking about that "fat kid about to break the swing set" kind of swinging...it's more of the "7 year old boy screaming like a Peregrine Falcon at the top of his lungs as soon as his swing reaches the full apex of it's ascent" kind of swinging). That being said, summer is supposed to be enjoyed. Enjoying summer looks different to everyone, but basically to me (and I'm sure millions of kids, parents, and poor college students out there) summer means camp. Kids see camp as a fun getaway and an opportunity to escape parental constraints while getting as much sugar and as little sleep as possible. Parents...let's just call a week of camp for them a "mini-vacation" of sorts. Poor college students (or just teenagers in general) see camp as a place to get away from their parents, earn a bit of money, and put school worries on-hold for a few months. Basically, it doesn't matter who you are...camp is just amazing. End of story.
That being said, working at a camp changes the way you see life. From personal I-work-at-camp-and-have-no-social-life-during-the-summer-but-love-my-job type of experience, I think some of the biggest changes I see in myself (and the other staff) throughout the summer are a result of what I like to refer to as "withdrawal from the real world". While it sounds a bit odd, let me explain it to you in simpler terms (cause of course not everyone has worked at a summer camp).
1. Personality is intensified
Compared to the rest of the world, camp is a relatively safe environment that offers protection from bullying, judgement, and pop culture (don't tell me it's never overwhelmed you before...). Once you have a group of (roughly 30) adolescents put in charge of children week in and week out, certain personality traits begin to emerge. Once many of these quirks and personalities crawl out of an individual...good luck getting them to go back from whence they came from. They're out to stay (at least for the duration of the summer). Such traits could range from goofy tendencies, zebra-inspired fits of laughter, obsessions with pyrotechnics, or even yelling out catch phrases at random hours of the day (for example, "Kool-Aid"). Yes traits and quirks are what make a person unique...but sometimes a person's personality screams at a "4" and camp cranks them up to an "8". Just like a box of chocolates Forest, you never know what you're going to get.
2. Lapse in hygiene
You've been at camp for 3 weeks now, and as the summer wears on your deodorant wears off (that is, if you're even still wearing any at this point). Ok, I know this sounds gross, but think about it. Depending on your job (counselor, cook, or handyman), you have a varied level of hygiene that you must maintain to keep your job. Those who work in the kitchen must stay clean and sanitized throughout the week (at least while on duty) or they will find themselves jobless and locked away in DHEC jail (don't know what that stands for...good. It ruins lives).
Maintenance has it easy. If you're a sweaty guy who works with other sweaty guys all day in the hot sun then I doubt you have much obligatory upkeep on personal smell and appearance. Counselors also have it pretty great. Aside from the initial day the kids are dumped, I mean delivered, to camp and rescued...retrieved, the parent's don't see/smell them. By the end of the week, most of the kids smell like BO and pee (at least the younger ones), so what better excuse to slack on hygiene? If your stench becomes unbearable, just blame it on one of your questionable looking kids. Let's just say by the end of if all, if I'm still taking 3 showers a week and brushing my teeth every night...it's been a good summer.
3. Walmart is the new Ritz
Ok, aside from all you Rednecks out there who really do think that Walmart is high class, this one sounds a bit odd. I know that Walmart can be a pretty fun place to play hide-and-go-seek, and you can usually find some pretty niffty things that you are convinced by the end of your trip that you desperately need...but it's no theme park. Well, after spending a month at camp, Walmart isn't just an adventure...it's an opportunity to escape and reemerge back into the "real world". Sure, you get dressed-up (shower, shave, jeans, clean shirt, and remove your life-guarding whistle), find some non-campy hot food to ingest, and then hit up the local Walmart. Hope you're ready for a wild night on the town, I hear they have a sale on kitchen-ware tonight.
4. Grade school humor
This one isn't too surprising. After spending 7-days-a-week hanging out with kids ranging from 6-13 (for the most part), you begin to think like them. This means that words like "poop" not only reemerge, but you also begin to think of "canoe duty" as "canoe doody"...at least that's how your mind spells it. So yes, you giggle at almost anything and your inner child rejoices daily.
5. Trying new things
This isn't a normal/boring sounding reference to tasting new foods. Instead, this means doing things you never thought you would ever imagine yourself considering doing because of normal humiliation concerns, let alone allowing others to watch you humiliate yourself. Such things might include getting a whip cream pie in the face, acting out a "roller coaster" while the crowd of giggling children and staff before you has been told that you are demonstrating the "proper way" to use a toilet, wearing ridiculous costumes, singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" solos, interpretive dancing with a crock-pot, rubbing your coworkers stomach whilst singing "Nummy, Nummy, Nummy", or arguing with your Spanish friend who likes turtles the most. And to think, this is only a handful of weekly occurrences...oh dear. Well, camp certainly isn't for the faint-hearted.
Aside from these (probably mildly disturbing) glimpses into camp oddities and the culture of it all, I would honestly say that I can't imagine what my life would have been like without these last 10 years of being apart of camp (from camper to staffer). I have met some of my best friends, expressed myself as only one can so freely at camp, grown deeper in love with Christ, been challenged in my Christian walk, and learned some crazy life skills (like how to wash a pooped-in sleeping bag and how to cook amazing food for hundreds of people in once sitting). I absolutely adore my camp (let's just refer to it as "Bethel Christian Camp") and the staff/campers you can find there on any day of the week ending in "day", such magical creatures revealing and thriving in their natural habitats. So, as usual, I'm wrapping this up by declaring that camps such as Bethel (and the things you experience there) are not in the greatest stretch of the imagination (nor ever will they be) considered overrated.
That being said, working at a camp changes the way you see life. From personal I-work-at-camp-and-have-no-social-life-during-the-summer-but-love-my-job type of experience, I think some of the biggest changes I see in myself (and the other staff) throughout the summer are a result of what I like to refer to as "withdrawal from the real world". While it sounds a bit odd, let me explain it to you in simpler terms (cause of course not everyone has worked at a summer camp).
1. Personality is intensified
Compared to the rest of the world, camp is a relatively safe environment that offers protection from bullying, judgement, and pop culture (don't tell me it's never overwhelmed you before...). Once you have a group of (roughly 30) adolescents put in charge of children week in and week out, certain personality traits begin to emerge. Once many of these quirks and personalities crawl out of an individual...good luck getting them to go back from whence they came from. They're out to stay (at least for the duration of the summer). Such traits could range from goofy tendencies, zebra-inspired fits of laughter, obsessions with pyrotechnics, or even yelling out catch phrases at random hours of the day (for example, "Kool-Aid"). Yes traits and quirks are what make a person unique...but sometimes a person's personality screams at a "4" and camp cranks them up to an "8". Just like a box of chocolates Forest, you never know what you're going to get.
2. Lapse in hygiene
You've been at camp for 3 weeks now, and as the summer wears on your deodorant wears off (that is, if you're even still wearing any at this point). Ok, I know this sounds gross, but think about it. Depending on your job (counselor, cook, or handyman), you have a varied level of hygiene that you must maintain to keep your job. Those who work in the kitchen must stay clean and sanitized throughout the week (at least while on duty) or they will find themselves jobless and locked away in DHEC jail (don't know what that stands for...good. It ruins lives).
Maintenance has it easy. If you're a sweaty guy who works with other sweaty guys all day in the hot sun then I doubt you have much obligatory upkeep on personal smell and appearance. Counselors also have it pretty great. Aside from the initial day the kids are dumped, I mean delivered, to camp and rescued...retrieved, the parent's don't see/smell them. By the end of the week, most of the kids smell like BO and pee (at least the younger ones), so what better excuse to slack on hygiene? If your stench becomes unbearable, just blame it on one of your questionable looking kids. Let's just say by the end of if all, if I'm still taking 3 showers a week and brushing my teeth every night...it's been a good summer.
3. Walmart is the new Ritz
Ok, aside from all you Rednecks out there who really do think that Walmart is high class, this one sounds a bit odd. I know that Walmart can be a pretty fun place to play hide-and-go-seek, and you can usually find some pretty niffty things that you are convinced by the end of your trip that you desperately need...but it's no theme park. Well, after spending a month at camp, Walmart isn't just an adventure...it's an opportunity to escape and reemerge back into the "real world". Sure, you get dressed-up (shower, shave, jeans, clean shirt, and remove your life-guarding whistle), find some non-campy hot food to ingest, and then hit up the local Walmart. Hope you're ready for a wild night on the town, I hear they have a sale on kitchen-ware tonight.
4. Grade school humor
This one isn't too surprising. After spending 7-days-a-week hanging out with kids ranging from 6-13 (for the most part), you begin to think like them. This means that words like "poop" not only reemerge, but you also begin to think of "canoe duty" as "canoe doody"...at least that's how your mind spells it. So yes, you giggle at almost anything and your inner child rejoices daily.
5. Trying new things
This isn't a normal/boring sounding reference to tasting new foods. Instead, this means doing things you never thought you would ever imagine yourself considering doing because of normal humiliation concerns, let alone allowing others to watch you humiliate yourself. Such things might include getting a whip cream pie in the face, acting out a "roller coaster" while the crowd of giggling children and staff before you has been told that you are demonstrating the "proper way" to use a toilet, wearing ridiculous costumes, singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" solos, interpretive dancing with a crock-pot, rubbing your coworkers stomach whilst singing "Nummy, Nummy, Nummy", or arguing with your Spanish friend who likes turtles the most. And to think, this is only a handful of weekly occurrences...oh dear. Well, camp certainly isn't for the faint-hearted.
Aside from these (probably mildly disturbing) glimpses into camp oddities and the culture of it all, I would honestly say that I can't imagine what my life would have been like without these last 10 years of being apart of camp (from camper to staffer). I have met some of my best friends, expressed myself as only one can so freely at camp, grown deeper in love with Christ, been challenged in my Christian walk, and learned some crazy life skills (like how to wash a pooped-in sleeping bag and how to cook amazing food for hundreds of people in once sitting). I absolutely adore my camp (let's just refer to it as "Bethel Christian Camp") and the staff/campers you can find there on any day of the week ending in "day", such magical creatures revealing and thriving in their natural habitats. So, as usual, I'm wrapping this up by declaring that camps such as Bethel (and the things you experience there) are not in the greatest stretch of the imagination (nor ever will they be) considered overrated.
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