As a woman...as a single woman...as a single college-aged female (try saying that five times fast) I receive so much "encouragement" from individuals who are happily dating and married that I often feel like I'm drowning in a sea of single-sympathy. Sympathy? Whoops, I meant encouragement.
Whether you've been to a singles Bible study or watched one too many Disney movies, women have been ingrained with the belief that there is a prince charming out there for them and he WILL get here eventually. "You just have to be patient and wait." Well, one impatient single to another, waiting sucks. I'm not a patient person by nature, and while I'm not chasing after men or whining about riding solo, being content as a single all the time is hard. If all I have to do is wait, do you think that maybe Prince Charming could put his little horse in gear and show up already? I mean, why isn't he here yet?
I recently had a lovely discussion with a fellow single friend of mine (let's call her "June"), and we pondered this very question. She joked (at least, I hope it was a joke) that the reason why her Prince hasn't arrived yet is because he's either dead or he just doesn't exist. Now, while such pessimism is morbidly humorous to think about, it's not terribly encouraging or creative. So, to be a bit more on the optimistic side (this is a stretch for me, I know), if you are also waiting on your prince, here are six more hopeful (and exciting) reasons why he may be a little late in sweeping you off your feet. Don't get mad, just hear the guy out...he's had a crazy time getting to you.
1. He's stuck in traffic...on a bridge...in Cincinnati....and it's hailing.
Hey, give the guy a break. It's not like those knightly horses come with roll cages or sun roofs, and just imagine how loud that hail is on his shiny armor. Poor guy is probably going deaf as I am typing this.
2. He was hit by a bus while saving a basket of kittens.
Don't worry about the kittens folks. Upon further inspection, as the incapacitated hero was being wheeled away on a stretcher it was discovered that the basket contained not kittens by seven-and-a-half pairs of woolen socks. Seven-and-a-half, you say? Yeah, it's a good thing they weren't really kittens cause that missing sock...yeah, well he didn't make it.
3. He got lost.
Let's face it, there is at least one ounce of truth behind every stereotype, and guys aren't celebrated for their uncanny sense of direction (nope, those would be birds). Heck, why do you think NASCAR is so popular among the male species? They can drive as fast as they'd like without the fear of getting pulled over OR getting lost. Get comfy ladies, cause if your prince falls into the typical male stereotype, he's not asking for directions anytime soon.
4. Both of his legs are broken.
This injury may have been sustained as your hero valiantly jumped in front of an oncoming bus in an attempt to save a basket of socks. Currently, he is attempting to crawl his way towards you from a different continent. What about his horse, you ask? Have you ever tried riding a knightly steed without the use of your legs? Well, it's not as easy as it sounds...does it even sound easy? Anyway, bad news is that this crawling process might take a while. But, on the bright side, he'll be ripped when he gets here (what girl doesn't want her man to have to-die-for arm muscles...).
5. He's a member of an organization that values it's privacy, and he's having a hard time leaving said group...
The CIA, KKK, the Illuminati, the Boy Scouts of America...take your pick. Once you're in the family, you can't ever leave (blood in, blood out or something "gangsterish" like that). The society he is involved with needs him so much (let's face it, your prince has got some skills) that they don't want him to leave. He's having some problems entering into early retirement and it may be several more weeks, months, or even years until you see his knight in shining face. But ladies, just be patient, cause to this super-secret-spy knight, you're worth it.
6. He's in jail...playing monopoly...with four...teen sick children...who are orphans.
Oh c'mon now, he can't just leave the orphans! They already have abandonment issues. He has to wait until they all find good homes and are adopted by loving parents before he can leave to search for you: his love. While this might have you waiting for a bit...the plus side is that this knight is great with kids, and he'll make sure to never leave yours.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "aww, my poor knight! If I'd have known that he was going through so much to come rescue me from my fortress of singleness and solitude, I wouldn't have complained/dated jerks/taken a vow of singleness." Well ladies, it's not too late. If your guy is risking life and limb to make his way towards you, albeit it a terribly slow-going journey, I think it's not too much to ask you to try to be a little patient and content in your current single-hood. I'm not pointing fingers, this is also directed at me just as much as it is the next single chick. But, I honestly believe that if you have the desire to be married in your heart, that God will honor that (even if your Prince's journey takes a bit longer than you would like). And that, my single women, is hope, and not in the least bit overrated.
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