Coffee, like oxygen, plays a vital role in the lives of many individuals. I say "many" because you will find those confused individuals who believe that this rich beverage doesn't serve a valuable purpose on Earth (that's like saying that we don't REALLY need oxygen...). Well, they're wrong. Coffee is a splendorous and magical drink that has socially brought people together for years. And, one of the beautiful things about coffee is the various forms and recipes that it can be found it. This is why the lines at Starbucks can take forever to navigate through; when you have a drink that is so versatile (as coffee is), people who drink it know what they like and want a specific combination of coffee, cream, sugar, artificial flavors, foam, whip cream, steam, milk, syrup...need I continue?
Coffee is such a magical and practical thing/beverage/cup-of-delight that it can be used to describe other things, say men. Now, just like every woman has her ideals for the perfect "cup of joe," she also has (hopefully) specifications and standards for her man (named Joe, Steve, Jack, or what have you). Now, this metaphor, like all man-made metaphors (trying saying that five times fast), is imperfect and has it's limitations...but that doesn't mean it can't be entertaining. I mean, think about all the specifications for coffee/men; imagine the possibilities. Your coffee choices can say a lot about the man you want.
1. Body Type
Tall - so you like little guys...no shame
Grande - a medium-man
Venti - or large for you non-coffe drinkers...
Full - filled out nicely?
Skinny - uh...plenty of shrimp in the sea?
Thick - "lumberjacks wanted"
Hot - let's hope so
Warm - so you can't handle a hot man...we're not judging
Strong - who doesn't want one of these?
2. Complexion/Ethnicity
Dark - tall dark and...well, you know
Mocha - it just sounds so...nice
Light - vague, but nice
French - who doesn't?
Carmel - what a pretty color...
White - white mocha...I'm not being racist
3. Personality/ Life Style
Rich -that would be nice
"Americano" -heh heh...funny
Whipped -whether it starts out that way or not...
Sweet -awww, yes.
Cold -whatever floats your boat?
Mellow -so chill man, so chill (and yes...this is an actual coffee term, look it up)
Organic -hippies need love too
Now, I'm a proud coffee drinker who is currently using a solo cup (hey, it's a pretty nifty and AWESOME solo cup), and there is nothing wrong with that. But, that doesn't keep me from appreciating the various cups of "Joe" out there (or from using this insanely entertaining metaphor). It could be that my standards are just too ridiculous. But, who wouldn't want someone tall, rich, and in a jar? (Please laugh...this is a joke. I'm not a serial killer. Just don't look in my trunk...) To each her own, and, as the various forms of coffee (and men) has taught us females, having different tastes and preferences is only natural. Taking the time to figure out exactly what we want, in java and man forms, will never be overrated. It would be a shame to hastily grab a cup and realize that the contents are appalling, unappetizing, or cause us to break out in hives.
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